“Ghosting” has been a trend among those using social media and dating apps. For those unaware “ghosting” is when a person unexpectedly stops all communication in hopes that the other party simple “gets the hint” and stops reaching out to them. What is disturbing is that we’re seeing this happen more and more from potential employers over the past few years.
It’s incredibly irresponsible; candidates invest hours of time and energy into presentations, resumes, and practicing interviewing only to never hear from the job poster again. These ‘interview casualties’ are then left confused and hurt and assume it was something they must have done to ‘turn the employer off’. While this may be true, it could just be a flaky employer.
Recently, we had a client go through four rounds of interviews at a luxury boutique where the directors had her create a marketing strategy and present it, to which they then asked her if they could keep it, to which she said yes. It’s an interview, she felt she had to. She was ecstatic; all seemed to be progressing so well, that is until the employers and the recruiter suddenly decided the job had changed and that she was no longer suited for it. The worst part is they just stopped returning her emails and calls, leaving her confused and devastated.
Evelyn spoke to Grazia specifically about this subject.
We met with her and asked her to review her body language, interview answers, behavior, etc. It was clear that although one of the marketing directors was totally bought in, the other was cold and showed no signs of engagement with her. It was clear that while she may have been the ideal candidate, the two directors simply were not in agreement and there had been warning signs.
If this happens to you, don’t beat yourself up; if they were worth working for they would have handled the situation more professionally. Here are some tips to get you back on your feet:
Don’t Keep Chasing
If you’re not hearing back, know when to walk away with dignity. You’re angry and upset; but you are also a professional. Don’t bad mouth the employer in public or online; after all you never know when you may come across them again.
Mourn at home and understand that it’s likely that there were other factors at play that weren’t visible to you. Understand that if this is how they treated you, then it probably wasn’t a great fit anyhow. Also, they may have a very cold “no feedback” policy making it impossible to let you know what exactly happened. Just remember, it’s not personal; it’s business.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of positive examples of employers out there. Catapult goes to great lengths to give feedback; so much so that we wish what they did was the legal standard! If a company doesn’t treat you with respect then you need to leave them behind for one that will.
Warn Others (Politely)
To keep others from falling into the same situation use an employer review site like Glassdoor to leave a review. This allows you to share your experience, vent a little, and possibly get the attention of the company. Keep in mind that you should keep it general so that the employer doesn’t know it’s you; while venting feels great, you still need a job and you can’t afford to burn bridges.
Find a Way to Get Feedback
You may not be able to get anything out of the employers but with the use of a career coaching service can find areas of improvement. Here at SEVEN we review how the interview went, as well as your answers and body language to try and determine how you can improve.
It’s important to remember that how the employer treats you during the interview process is a very good indication of how they’ll treat you when you work for them. Keep an eye out for any red flags and stay in control. It’s easy to ignore the warning signs because the idea of a new job is exciting and often you want to be able to please the interviewer. However, once they take control it will be easy for them to manipulate your feelings and answers. Make sure you don’t shift your mind away from the ‘choice gear’ and into the ‘desperate gear’.
We tell our clients several things to help them bounce back, such as:Give yourself time to grieve and allow yourself to be upset.
- Take a day to stay under the blankets and then pick yourself back up and get your head back on.
- Reflect on the positives and what you did right during the interview.
- Remember that other opportunities are out there and that this was not the only job available.
The one silver lining of not receiving feedback is it makes you a stronger person. Relying less on feedback forces you to look within and find the areas you need to improve on. Think of interviewing as dating; while you may be a good fit they’re probably seeing two or three other people. Don’t get too attached and don’t get excited until you have an official offer to be exclusive.
We know how difficult it is to turn your attitude around after experiencing interview ghosting. That’s why at SEVEN we help clients self-assess, think more pro-actively, take better notes of their performances, and trust their instincts more to become more self-reliant. A strong candidate knows when they gave an interview all that they could, as well as know where they could have improved. We help restore your winner’s mindset and discover where you can do better. We know there’s a company and role out there that’s right for you; you just need to believe it!
To learn more about the specific area of coaching that fits you, go to
Life Coaching and
Coaching for Companies.