If your attempts to rise the career ranks, change careers or start your own business aren’t succeeding, then this is probably why. By the time our clients come to us, it’s usually the last resort, they have made attempts to changing careers, to find their perfect career or to start a business and got stuck somewhere along the way. When we use the 3 steps below to help our career coaching clients with this, the results are ASTONISHING!
Ok so what is ‘it’, this ‘block’? I describe it as the ‘unresolved stuff’ you carry around with you in your head or buried deeper. Made up of the all the past career related situations that you’re STILL unhappy with yourself about, are STILL unhappy with someone else about, the ‘mistakes’, losses or missed opportunities you STILL haven’t forgiven yourself for. Doubting yourself on whether you chose the right university course, chose the right internships, the right career route etc. All this does, is chip, chip, chip away at you, creating holes in your self-esteem and self-image. Not good!
It’s over! Why does it keep coming back up?
The most important part of this ‘unresolved stuff’ is that is over. But, as long as you are feeling unresolved about it, you are continuously reminded and dragged back to it, making it YOUR emotional Present. (Read that again!) The more attention you give it, the more you feed it, making it grow and affirming it in your mind as ‘who you are’. Let me tell you this – ‘It’ is not ‘who’ you are, it is ‘how’ you’re viewing yourself and your past and how you view your past, is how you view your present, is how you view your future. Great news – you can change that! You want a better future than your past, you NEED to look differently at your past, you NEED to let go of your past, reframe your past and like the clouds clearing to allow the sunshine through, you will see your present differently and your future will take care of itself! Seriously!
The glasses you look through
This ‘unresolved stuff’ is in fact, more comparable to a pair of glasses you look through in relation to yourself and what’s possible for you and your career. Those things you wheel out to beat yourself up when you find something isn’t going your way or seeing someone else who’s right where you’d love to be. You use these to remind yourself why you’re not where you want to be and guess, what? It’s keeping you in the exact place you want to ‘get out of’.
I meet people at all stages of their careers, professionals in their late ’20s/early 30’s, in their mid-40’s and in their ’50s who feel they haven’t made the mark they had dreamed of career wise. They are chronically dissatisfied, unfulfilled and frustrated with where they are now. Usually there is resentment and anger all pointed, like little internal cannons of negativity, at themselves.
Before we can even begin working together on a new career strategy, we have to get clarity around where you are, where you’ve come from and of course, where you want to go. This clarity is impossible, when you’re looking through the fog of your past ‘mistakes’ or ‘disappointments’ or feeling apathetic about your past career performance.
3 steps to Career Resolution
1. Journal – It’s better out than in.
This is THE single most effective way our clients resolve their career ‘stuff’. Get yourself a diary, aim to write a page or 2 a day, 5 times a week as a minimum. Consistency is key here. It’s like loosening up something that’s a bit stuck, the more you let it out, the more it will flow, the easier it will get, until it’s gone! This is your outlet, to release, to let go, that’s it. It doesn’t need to be for anyone else’s eyes, you don’t even ever need to read it again. It’s better out than in.
2. Confront yourself!
Get honest about the things you’re dissatisfied with in your career. Use your journal and write them out. What are you still carrying around with you that’s long over? Can you see that you’re keeping them alive? What are you getting out of keeping them alive? Is this blocking you from moving forward to the career you want? How would your life be different if you let them go? Can you let them go? Would you let them go? When? (I would answer – NOW!) Cut the chord, move on.
3. Reframe! Switch glasses.
What have these ‘mistakes’/ missed opportunities taught you? We all know we learn more from our mistakes, than our successes. Find positives from each one of those ‘dissatisfactions’ you listed above, find a few, maximise this opportunity. Decide to view this from a different perspective, a perspective that empowers you, that benefits you.
If you are interested in learning more about working with SEVEN Career Coaching – Book our free phone consultation here with one of our Career Coaches.